A Girl With a Sword

spring break messiah

"spring break, work hard, drink coffee"

That's what's written on the little chalkboard above the counter at my local coffee shop. It pretty much sums up my week so far. Spring break is hard because it's the only break we get in the spring semester and it comes right at the point when you realize you haven't made the progress on your projects that you should have. And once you put away the idea of going to the beach (or, more preferably, New York), you just kind of let things pile up because you know that there's this whole week when you'll have so much time, infinite time. But not really.

Yeah, so I kind of set spring break up to be the savior of my semester, knowing it was a bad idea, but I don't understand why I work so slowly and I always think if I just try hard enough everything will get done in, like, two days. Someday I will master this art, hopefully sometime before I retire . . . So it's been a busy week, and when I feel like I know what I'm doing, it's fun, when I can't figure out what my chosen topic has to do with the class it's for, or when I can't figure out what the topic is at all, then it is not so fun. I feel like all three projects I'm working on are fading in and out of reality this week. I'll go to bed thinking, "tomorrow I'll go research that in the library, I'll find materials, it'll be so easy." and then at the library I'll sit there for ages in front of the computer trying to think of a single search term that might describe what I'm looking for. And then when I do get materials half of them seem irrelevant and I'm worried that I'm wasting hours reading stuff I don't need to, so then I spend more time on Jstor, getting more confused about search terms. . . . And, yeah, you get the idea.

But I have been getting stuff done and thought-about which is the most important thing. And I did my FAFSA, so if nothing else, that's an accomplishment (eighth year in a row, baby!). Some friends and I have been watching What the Bleep Do We Know in segments this week. It's kind of a crazy movie. It's about science and spirituality and how they meet on a quantum level. It's anti-dualism, which I like, and I have no reason to want what they say to be wrong, but sometimes they contradict themselves, which I find annoying. But it kind of reminds me of a movie I watched as a kid called Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land and it kind of reminds me of Arcadia, only not very much, and really, everything reminds me of Arcadia.