I’m looking out the windows on the first floor of Mills Hall. The sun has set, but I can still see the trees by a clear but dim daylight, or at least I could until the fog rolled in just now. Anyway, it just hit me how eerie that daylight without the sun is. I look outside and everything looks like it’s just dark and stormy, but there’s no sun behind those clouds.
I’ve had a strange week. I turned in my SIP on Wednesday, and everything was gloriously happy until Wednesday night when I realized my SIP was over. The climax of my college career had come and gone. Everything suddenly felt rather anticlimactic. I feel like everything is slipping away so suddenly and it's all rather surreal. I hate it when the transience of the life I know becomes so apparent to me. The last time I remember feeling this way was when my family moved away from Italy, where we had lived for seven years. Then at least I had a secure life to look forward to.
Well, I have one more paper to write before going off into the insecure world. A paper on Sir Gawain and the Green Knight that should have a thesis because I've written four pages, but I guess I just haven't gotten to that yet. I feel like my SIP has spoiled me for normal papers. It's so great to have two semesters to research and write a simple twenty-pager.
Oh, and happy St. George's Day and Shakespeare's Birthday.
A new arrival, not Gardenhead, but Goldaline, my iPod. Yes, I have bought into the trend, I'm riding the wave of the past. There's a certain thrill about receiving nicely packaged technology. I love the sleek iPod box with silver lettering and the little plastic wrapping on the actual iPod that says "Don't steal music" in five different languages. It looked so innocent, lying there spouting out these words to me, and far more beautiful than any newborn human child, I'm sure. My roommate, in true Cricket form, has crocheted Goldaline an "iPod cozy," which is nice because these things look so naked when they don't have anything shielding them from the elements.
I'm taking a break from what is currently the frustrating business of finishing my SIP. I revised the whole thing this week and deleted a whole lot, and while it's much cleaner and smoother, it's also much shorter. I was on course to be well over the required twenty pages (which seems like a very low requirement, I know), now I'm faced with the unpleasant possibility of having to write four pages on "integration" (i.e. my personal response to Edmund Spenser's conception of chastity). I just have trouble with the idea of personal response in a scholarly paper. You know what this means, this means I'm going to have to completely rewrite the end of this paper in order to send it to a prospective grad school (okay, so I'll probably revise it a lot anyway). But I am enjoying my SIP, getting to know these people with strange names like Britomart, Paridell, Scudamore. I gave a nice little SIP presentation the other day, complete with bleeding stick figures.
I am really enjoying the British Sea Power I bought last night with my first born male child. I'm also enjoying Woman King, the new Iron & Wine EP. It fits my SIP very well, the image of the woman "sword in hand, swing at some evil and bleed."