Sometimes tax forms just sound like an elaborate game someone made up, or a Chose Your Own Adventure novel:
"If line 22 is over $119,975, or you provided housing to a Midwestern displaced individual, see page 32. Otherwise, multiply $3,500 by the total number of exemptions claimed on line 6d."
"If you can stand on your head enter 1, if anyone else you know can stand on their head longer than you then skip to line 8 and enter 0, unless you can hold your breath for more than 30 seconds. In that case see page 54 and print Form 5555 on waterproof paper."
What the heck. This is why I like taxes, though, they tell you what to do the whole time, it's just a game you play to see how much money you win this year!
Okay, I was fighting it for awhile, until quite recently in fact, as you could tell if you looked through the pile of graded papers on my table, but I have decided the battle is over. I will welcome our new overlords . . . of arbitrary prepositions. I just saw this on CNN:
Investigators: Shooter unhappy at failed dreams
Now, a week ago I would have said, "at failed dreams"? No, little Jimmy (which, of course, is how I address all of my eighteen-year-old students), it's "with failed dreams." But now I have decided, at, with, by, to, for, behind, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO USE! It's fine with me. You can't stop progress.
I found these today at Publix and I keep being distracted by the deliciousness. It makes a nice break from the denseness of rhetorical criticism.
P.S. yes, they are basically French jaffa cakes, but it's just exciting to find any kind of jaffa cakes at Publix!